Hello all! I hope your week has been going well! It has been a chilly and snowy week here in Springfield. When it is cold out, one of my favorite activities is curl up with a cup of coffee and a good book. My assignment this week was to read and review a book that supports my growth as an individual and a music therapist in training. The book I was given to review was: You Are A Badass; How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero. This book got me thinking about many of my self-sabotaging behaviors and what I can do to combat them. For my blog post this week, I will sharing my biggest take aways from reading this book.
Be Aware of Your Self-Sabotaging Behaviors
I identified many of my own self-sabotaging behaviors while reading. I have always been an extremely self-conscious person. In addition, I have struggled with anxiety issues for a long time. It has never been debilitating, but it adds a lot of stress and makes going through life difficult at times. I had found ways to cope, but they would never last long term. Starting internship I found that my anxiety and self-consciousness grew exponentially. I attempted to deal, but I was finding that living with this extreme anxiety was hindering my growth as a person and a music therapist.
Live Your Life Without Worry and Fear
I often find myself worrying and fearing what others are thinking of me and if I am good enough. These worries and fears have held me back from pursuing many things I have wanted to do in the past. However, I have found the times that I have gone for it not thinking about what others think, I have had some wonderful experiences and I have learned a lot about myself.
“On the other side of your fear is your freedom.”-Jen Sincero
An example of this was when I decided to audition for the opera in college. I didn’t originally get cast the opera, but I was let into the opera workshop class. During this class, I met some of best friends and ended up being offered a part as a cover and ensemble member in the opera. I wouldn’t have had these wonderful opportunities and friends if I had listened to my inner critic and didn’t audition for the opera. These worrying thoughts and fears have begun to resurface as I begin looking at music therapy jobs. I question if I am good enough to apply for these jobs and if others think I am good enough. However, reading this book has inspired me to take a chance on these jobs and myself without worry and fear.
Practice Self Forgiveness
Chapter 15 is entitled: “Forgive or Let Fester”. This chapters focuses on why it is important for us to forgive ourselves and others. Extending forgiveness to myself is something that I often find to be difficult. In this chapter, Sincero states that when you do not extend forgiveness you lug around “guilt, shame, resentment, and self loathing”. Carrying around all of these negative feelings feed these self sabotaging behaviors. One of my favorite quotes for the book is:
“The moment you decide to forgive and let your negative feelings melt away, you are on the the road to freedom.”-Jen Sincero
I want to feel this freedom and I know that not forgiving myself is holding me back as a person and a future music therapist. Self forgiveness is something I will be working on through the rest of my internship and into my career.
Sincero ends almost every chapter with the words “Love Yourself”. Self love is another thing that comes hard to me. I tend to see the worst in myself and not the good. If there is anything that Sincero wants you to take from this book, it’s that the key to defeating self-sabotaging behaviors is to love yourself. To learn how to love yourself, Sincero suggests to practice affirmations, take part in things you love, and to forgive. I want to find this self love, I am using Sincero’s suggestions to work on this.
I highly recommend this book to anyone who feels like they need help working through self-sabotaging behaviors in both their personal and professional lives. I will end this blog post with my favorite quote from the book:
“We only get to be in our bodies for a limited time, why not celebrate the journey instead of merely riding it out until it’s over?”-Jen Sincero