Intern’s Corner – Week 28

For a past assignment, I was tasked with writing a song. While all of my other song assignments were to be written for a specific client or clinical purpose, this song was supposed to be all for me. I was a bit perplexed, as I didn’t know what to write about.

One night I was attempting to learn an Olivia Rodrigo song and was failing miserably. I began plucking at my guitar and reflecting on how internship was going so fast by and how crazy it was that I only had 2 more months left. As I plucked, the words “faster and faster” kept echoing through my head. Soon I began putting the words to a melody. 

What I ended up with was: 

“Faster and faster, this train keeps going, when will it ever slow down? One minute you started, the next thing you know, your getting off in the next town.”

That’s how college and now internship has felt. As soon as I get used it, it’s time to move on to the next phase. The song developed from there, and was one of the most natural and authentic to me songs that I have ever written. 

Well now it’s time for me to “get off in the next in the next town”. I don’t really know what the next train will be or when it will come. This is scary beyond belief, but incredibly exciting at the same time. I feel so fortunate to have MTC be my “train” these past few months. I’m going to always to have a spot in my heart for my supervisors, mentors, and clients I have gotten to work with these past 6 months. Thank you all for riding along with me on this journey as well.

Faster and Faster

by Lillian Schierbrock

You get on the train at the home station to start on the ride.

Don’t know where you’re going, but you’ll figure it out in time.

You see mountains and plains, other marvelous things.

It’s a sight to behold. 

But then you hear that it’s getting close to the end of the road. 

Faster and faster this train keeps going. When will it ever slow down? 

One minute you started, the next thing you know you’re getting off in the next town.

One year, two years, three years, four.

Then it’s time to leave to see more.

You get used to the train and everything that comes along on the ride. 

You know the sunset is best seen from seat 2B on the left side.

You know the best food in the dining car,

And your favorite conductor by far.

It’s becoming like home, but the next you know it’s time to go.

Faster and faster this train keeps going. When will it ever slow down? 

One minute you started, the next thing you know your getting off in the next town.

One, two, three months, four, five, six.

Who knows what is next.

Don’t know what the next train will look like, don’t know where it will go.

Your so excited, but scared to death because there is so much you don’t know

Faster and faster this train keeps going. When will it ever slow down? 

One minute you started, the next thing you know your getting off in the next town.

Ten year, twenty Years, thirty years, four.

You have your whole life in store.

Lillian

Intern’s Corner – Week 27

My best attempt at recreating the scene from the Inside by Bo Burnham

I am required to take part in weekly repertoire checks during my supervision time. Often my supervisors will request particular songs or types of songs for me to bring to my repertoire check. This last week, my supervisors requested I bring in a song that reflected how I am currently feeling.

The song I chose to bring in was “That Funny Feeling” by Bo Burnam. To me, the song reflected the complicated way I have been feeling during this time of change with all that is happening in my life and in the world around me. As the song is very specific to what the writer was feeling, my supervisors requested that I rewrite the song about how I feel. I recently brought my version of the song to my supervision this week. My supervisors encouraged me to share this version with all of you as my blog post this week.

That Funny Feeling (Lillian’s Version)

Showing a patient how to use the guitar tabs app.

Getting Starbuck’s coffee when you feel like crap.

Turing Red’s self-awareness, loving parents, no time for fun.

The ending of your internship means the rest of life has begun.

There it is again, that funny feeling

That funny feeling

There it is again, that funny feeling

That funny feeling

Working on my final project, trying to keep up the pace.

Looking at Shein Dresses, imagining what’s to come.

But COVID meanders, no clear answers, possible war.

The whole world at your fingertips, but you can find the answers you’re looking for. 

Encantos everywhere, learning to sing with gusto. 

Almost five years of this, a couple more weeks to go.

People get fired, Getting tired, Unfair decrees.

My issues seem so small yet so big to me.

There it is again, that funny feeling

That funny feeling

There it is again, that funny feeling

That funny feeling

Reading TikTok’s terms of service, going for a drive.

Driving aimlessly, not knowing what you’ll find.

Full Atychiphobic, just keep your focus, won’t be disowned. 

A book on getting better from your supervisors on loan.

Feeling nothing and everything at the same time.

Googling jobs, being overwhelmed with what you find.

That warmth of spring breathing through the winter air. 

The realizations of the changes there.

There it is again, that funny feeling

That funny feeling

There it is again, that funny feeling

That funny feeling

Hey, what can you say? We were overdue

But internship’s over soon, you wait

Hey, what can you say? We were overdue

But internship’s over soon, just wait 

Ba-da-da, ba-da-da, ba-da-da-da-dum

Lillian

Intern’s Corner – Week 26

For my assignment this week I read the book Big Magic; Creative Living Beyond Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert. Gilbert divides this book into six parts; Courage, Enchantment, Permission, Persistence, Trust, and Divinity. Each of these parts focuses on how one can embody each of those things to let go of their fear and to embrace their creativity in life. Gilbert shares many good thoughts on combating fear and embracing creativity in this book, three of these ideas particularly stuck out to me. 

Courage

In the part entitled “Courage”, Gilbert discusses being courageous in the face of your fears. She states that we shouldn’t live with an absence of fear, that is unnatural. We need to live with our fear, but not let the fear control our lives. Gilbert makes an analogy about going on a road trip. In this analogy, you are going on a road trip with your creativity and fear. Fear is welcomed on this road trip, but is not allowed to drive. Fear can have an opinion on where you go, but fear does not have a vote on it. 

I really liked how Gilbert discussed fear in this analogy. In my life I often let fear have a say in what I do, I have even let fear be in the driver’s seat from time to time. I always thought the way to get rid of fear was to eject it from the car all together. However, getting rid of fear completely is not attainable. It’s healthy to have fear and to acknowledge its existence, but not let it control your life. That is something I hope to do going forward. 

Enchantment

Something I found particularly interesting in the section “Enchantment” was when Gilbert discussed how the fear of peaking can keep a person from trying again. She discusses how Harper Lee did not release another book after To Kill a Mockingbird because “When you’re at the top, there’s only one place to go.” This fear makes creating about winning or losing, with the fear of losing stopping us from embracing our ideas and trying to create again. 

I’ve had many ideas in my life that I have not pursued due to fearing they will not be successful. This was something that held me back a lot during the first few months of my internship. When working with clients and patients, I didn’t try out ideas I had in fear of them not working. Additionally, I didn’t share ideas I had in fear of them not being good enough. I have worked through a lot of these and have discovered that just because something didn’t work doesn’t mean I am a failure as a music therapy intern. I am incredibly proud of the progress I have made, and will keep working on not letting fear stop me from trying. 

Permission

The part entitled “Permission” discusses how to allow yourself to look past fear and embrace your creativity. One part of this that stuck out to me was about “entitlement”. Gilbert states “creative entitlement means believing that you are allowed to be here… you are allowed to have a voice and a vision of your own.”  She discussed sharing and owning your creative intent, not letting others scare you away from the life you are entitled to. 

This part reminded me a lot of imposter syndrome. I have found myself falling into its traps many times in my life. Imposter syndrome leads to feelings that I somehow don’t deserve to be where I am and doing what I am doing. This has happened when I have started new ensembles, started new jobs, and especially happened when I started my internship. I’ve learned to push through this fear, but it often causes a lot of growing pains. I need to work on owning my intent and entitlement as soon as I start something to combat the feelings of fear and imposter syndrome. I am going to be a music therapist and I have worked hard and deserve to be where I am. 

Overall, I really enjoyed Elizabeth Gilbert’s point of view on embracing creativity and combating fear. As someone who lets fear and anxiety often control her life, I found Gilbert’s book to be thought provoking and I look forward to adopting some of her mindsets going forward. 

Lillian

Intern’s Corner – Week 25

A majority of music therapy students have to leave their home areas for internship. This was also the case for me. I am from a small town in Iowa, so Springfield, IL was a big change for me. I love traveling and exploring new places, so I have enjoyed getting to explore Springfield during my time in internship. These are some of my favorite things about the Springfield area.

The Stores

As stated, I am from a very small town. Something that excited me when I got to Springfield was that there was a large mall and a Target in town! Where I am from the closest mall and Target are a half an hour away. I have had so much fun on weekends window shopping at the mall and going to Target. I’ve enjoyed exploring local boutiques, music, and record stores. I have enjoyed going to the Springfield Old Capitol Farmers Market on Saturdays! Additionally,  I have found the Scheels store here in Springfield to be incredibly exciting, there is a full size Ferris wheel! 

The History

I am a bit of a history and architecture nerd. I was thrilled to discover all of the history and old houses that are in Springfield. I have enjoyed going to places like the Dana Thomas House. Additionally, I have explored many of the Lincoln sites like the museum, house, and tomb. I have enjoyed going on drives around Oak Lawn Cemetery and past the beautiful houses near Washington Park.

Washington Park

Washington Park is one of my favorite places in Springfield. Washington Park is less than five minutes from MTC, so on many occasions I have spent my weekly self care time there. I love the botanical gardens and listening to the bell tower. Additionally, there is a lagoon full of ducks and geese. I love going there and watching the ducks and geese swim around.

Surrounding Towns

I love going on drives and exploring the surrounding area. Because of this, I have gotten to discover and explore many of the wonderful towns near Springfield. I have discovered many wonderful antique shops in some of the surrounding towns. One of my favorite towns is Petersburg. Petersburg has some beautiful houses, wonderful downtown area, and has some very wonderful historical sites. Additionally, I enjoyed exploring Elkhart when my family visited a few months ago. In Elkhart there was an adorable restaurant that had some of the best pie I have ever eaten.

Horseshoes

For those who are not familiar with the beauty that is a horseshoe, horseshoes are a dish that consists of a piece of bread, some sort of meat (particularly a type of burger), french fries, and cheese sauce. Prior to arriving in Springfield, I had never had a horseshoe before. During my first visit to Springfield, I read about how the horseshoe is a Springfield staple. Naturally, I felt like I needed to try these famous Horseshoes. After trying a horseshoe, I fell in love. Horseshoes are now one of my favorite meals and I have enjoyed trying different horseshoes around Springfield. I have discovered that I particularly like horseshoes with bean burgers and white cheese sauce.

Music Therapy Connections

Of course I couldn’t leave MTC off of a list of my favorite things in the Springfield area. :)

Lillian

Intern’s Corner – Week 24

My new friend, the Q-Chord!

Hello all! I hope your week has been going well! As of this Friday, I have one month left of my internship!! During these last few months of my internship I have taken on more and more responsibility during music therapy sessions. Along with this greater responsibility, I have also gotten to experience things that I have never gotten to experience before. During my blog post this week, I will be discussing some of these new experiences!

Leading Sessions Alone

Last week, one of my supervisors had an emergency situation. Due to this, my supervisor was unable to accompany and supervise me while leading my sessions. I had been leading sessions solo for about a month at this point, but I had my supervisor there to supervise me and give advice before and after sessions. Now, I unexpectedly had to go on my own to the contract sites and see clients alone at MTC. This was very nerve racking for me, but it required me to trust in myself and my abilities as a music therapist intern. I was unexpectedly put into this new situation, but I was proud of myself for taking on the challenge and responsibility. 

Trying a New Instrument

I had been brainstorming new interventions to use with my clients at MTC. Particularly, I wanted to find a new intervention to target fine motor skills with one of my clients. I thought about using an autoharp to target this goal. However, this idea quickly had to change when I discovered MTC does not have an autoharp. One of my supervisors shared with me that there was a Q-Chord at MTC. A Q-Chord is an electronic instrument that plays a chord when pressing a button. I was familiar with the Q-Chord, but I had never played one before. I worked to become acquainted with how to use and play a Q-Chord over the week. At the end of the week, I implemented the Q-Chord into the session with the client. The client took to using the Q-Chord quickly and I look forward to using it in upcoming sessions with this client. 

Co-treating for the First Time!

One of the most exciting new experiences I had this last week was that I had the opportunity to co-treat with a physical therapist at St. John’s Children’s hospital! As I have written about in the past, I love interdisciplinary work! One of my upcoming assignments is to co-treat with a related professional. One of the patients I have been seeing regularly at the hospital has also been receiving regular physical therapy services. Because of this, my supervisor and I reached out to the physical therapy services at the St. John’s about possible opportunities to co-treat. 

I was thrilled to receive a call from one of the physical therapists about two opportunities to co-treat! I was very excited for this opportunity to co-treat, but I was very nervous because this was something I have never done before. Going into the sessions, I found it difficult to find where to insert myself into the session. However, I tried not to overthink this and worked to find places where I could support the work the physical therapist was doing. In the end, I was thrilled with how the sessions went and the physical therapist also stated excitement about the sessions and co-treating with music therapy in the future.

Overall, these new experiences were scary and challenging at times, but I feel I have grown so much from them! I look forward to seeing what other new experiences I get during the last month of my internship and throughout my career as a music therapist.

Lillian

Intern’s Corner – Week 23

We all have our personal holidays; birthdays, anniversaries, etc. I have my own personal holiday that happened this last week that is a bit peculiar. February 15th marked my 5th annual Rejection Day celebration. A quick disclaimer, this day has nothing to do with Valentine’s Day, which occurs the day before. Rejection Day is the day that found out I was rejected from what I thought was my dream college. I figured this is a timely story to share as many are applying and auditioning for music therapy programs and internships this time of year.

When I decided that I was going to major in music therapy in high school, I knew the college I wanted to attend. The college appeared perfect; it had the populations I wanted to work with, it wasn’t too far away from home, and it had a brand new and amazing music building. For years, all I could imagine was going to this college and having all my music therapy dreams come true.

My senior year of high school, I originally applied for two colleges. These colleges were my “dream college” and a back up. I put a lot of time and effort into my auditions. Additionally, I worked with a voice instructor to be musically prepared for the songs. However, I wasn’t a strong sight reader and wasn’t feeling well the day of my audition at my “dream college”. I remembered coming out of the audition not feeling like I did great, but still hopeful I did well enough to get in. 

A week later, I remember my Dad calling to tell me there was an email for me from the school of music at my “dream school”. I remember sitting in my car opening that email and my nervous excitement. Little did I know at the time how badly that email would hurt to read. In that moment everything I had imagined for myself felt like it shattered. 

This wasn’t the end of the line in anyway, I had been accepted by the other college I auditioned for as a music therapy major. However, I did not get a good feeling when I visited that other college. I felt so lost, I didn’t get accepted to the college of my dreams and the college I was accepted to didn’t feel like the right place for me.

In between feeling sorry for myself and bowls of ice cream, my Dad suggested we call Western Illinois University. WIU was a college I had talked about applying for, but never got around to it with the excitement of senior year and focusing on my other auditions. We called WIU, and everything just seemed to fall into place. I scheduled my audition that day, and a week and half later I was in Macomb, Il at my audition.

Walking into Browne Hall for the first time just felt right. It wasn’t a big, fancy, or brand new music building, but it was welcoming. All of the students and professors I interacted with were so kind and inviting, I could see myself being a student there and working with these professors. So from that day on I knew that I was going to go to WIU. 

In hindsight, I feel so fortunate that I didn’t get into that college. If I would have, I would have never gone to WIU. In turn, I wouldn’t have met my best friends or had the many wonderful opportunities that I got to have at WIU. Additionally, I wouldn’t be interning at Music Therapy Connections. 

One of the things that I was most proud of was that I didn’t let this rejection deter me from my dream of becoming a music therapist. I could have very easily let that rejection define me and given up, but I didn’t. I just found a different path toward my dream. 

Life is unexpected and being rejected can hurt so bad. What I learned from this is that rejections aren’t the end of the road, they are just pointing you down the road you’re supposed to take. 

So happy Rejection Day All.

Lillian