Hey everyone! I hope you all had a fantastic week and are doing well.
I am officially in my third month of internship! Its crazy seeing the weeks pass by. It is going by so quickly! This past week, I have really begun leading more and taking more of the documentation. I have also been working with one of my supervisors on working on website creation, a skill that will come in handy in the future!
This week, I want to share something a bit more personal. Although I am seeing improvement and growth in my skills, there are some days where I struggle believing in myself. There are many doubts and “what if” questions that often run through my mind. Although it can feel like I am the only one with these thoughts, I know that others may feel similarly things in their own way.
Am I really learning and growing?
Some days it is harder to really see my progress. I am already into my third month of internship and there are still so many areas that I need to work on. Some skills I have been working on since week one and they still aren’t were I want them to be. On days when I am feeling down, I try to focus more on the areas that I feel like I have really improved and the accomplishments I’ve had along the way.
What if I don’t pass internship or the board exam?
I would definitely consider myself an over thinker. Many times, I will start overthinking things that are not yet relevant, such as the board exam. It can be hard not to stress about the future, especially when you like to plan ahead. I try to remind myself that there is no sense in stressing about it right now and instead try to redirect my energy towards the here and now.
What if I don’t make it as a music therapist?
Similar to the last question, some days I wonder if I really have what it takes to do this profession. There is a lot that goes into being a music therapist. Some days I can really psych myself out and it can be hard to convince myself that I can do this. While I may not know where I will end up in the future, I can try to focus on the ere and now. Each day, I try to give it my all and be the best music therapy intern that I can be.
I AM enough.
It is okay to have worries and doubts. However, it is not healthy to allow these thoughts and feelings to take over. On days where these thoughts and questions are constantly on my mind, I try to remind myself of the areas I have improved, the small victories I have had, and that its okay to no be perfect. I am not supposed to have all the answers or be at a professional level quite yet. Although I may not feel like it all the time, I AM enough.
Worries and doubts are something that everyone experiences from time to time. In the moment, it can feel lonely. They can also take a toll on one’s mental health. Having healthy coping skills, self care, and a support system can help to quiet these thoughts. For me, spending time with friends and looking at the good things from the week help to relieve my doubts.
With each day, I know that I am growing, even if I feel differently. I am getting closer and closer to reaching my goal of becoming a music therapist.
Thanks for reading! Stay safe and healthy this week. And remember, you are enough!