Hello all! I hope your week has been going well! It has been a chilly and snowy week here in Springfield. When it is cold out, one of my favorite activities is curl up with a cup of coffee and a good book. My assignment this week was to read and review a book that supports my growth as an individual and a music therapist in training. The book I was given to review was: You Are A Badass; How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero. This book got me thinking about many of my self-sabotaging behaviors and what I can do to combat them. For my blog post this week, I will sharing my biggest take aways from reading this book.
Be Aware of Your Self-Sabotaging Behaviors
I identified many of my own self-sabotaging behaviors while reading. I have always been an extremely self-conscious person. In addition, I have struggled with anxiety issues for a long time. It has never been debilitating, but it adds a lot of stress and makes going through life difficult at times. I had found ways to cope, but they would never last long term. Starting internship I found that my anxiety and self-consciousness grew exponentially. I attempted to deal, but I was finding that living with this extreme anxiety was hindering my growth as a person and a music therapist.
Live Your Life Without Worry and Fear
I often find myself worrying and fearing what others are thinking of me and if I am good enough. These worries and fears have held me back from pursuing many things I have wanted to do in the past. However, I have found the times that I have gone for it not thinking about what others think, I have had some wonderful experiences and I have learned a lot about myself.
“On the other side of your fear is your freedom.”
An example of this was when I decided to audition for the opera in college. I didn’t originally get cast the opera, but I was let into the opera workshop class. During this class, I met some of best friends and ended up being offered a part as a cover and ensemble member in the opera. I wouldn’t have had these wonderful opportunities and friends if I had listened to my inner critic and didn’t audition for the opera. These worrying thoughts and fears have begun to resurface as I begin looking at music therapy jobs. I question if I am good enough to apply for these jobs and if others think I am good enough. However, reading this book has inspired me to take a chance on these jobs and myself without worry and fear.
Practice Self Forgiveness
Chapter 15 is entitled: “Forgive or Let Fester”. This chapters focuses on why it is important for us to forgive ourselves and others. Extending forgiveness to myself is something that I often find to be difficult. In this chapter, Sincero states that when you do not extend forgiveness you lug around “guilt, shame, resentment, and self loathing”. Carrying around all of these negative feelings feed these self sabotaging behaviors. One of my favorite quotes for the book is:
“The moment you decide to forgive and let your negative feelings melt away, you are on the the road to freedom.”
I want to feel this freedom and I know that not forgiving myself is holding me back as a person and a future music therapist. Self forgiveness is something I will be working on through the rest of my internship and into my career.
Sincero ends almost every chapter with the words “Love Yourself”. Self love is another thing that comes hard to me. I tend to see the worst in myself and not the good. If there is anything that Sincero wants you to take from this book, it’s that the key to defeating self-sabotaging behaviors is to love yourself. To learn how to love yourself, Sincero suggests to practice affirmations, take part in things you love, and to forgive. I want to find this self love, I am using Sincero’s suggestions to work on this.
I highly recommend this book to anyone who feels like they need help working through self-sabotaging behaviors in both their personal and professional lives. I will end this blog post with my favorite quote from the book:
“We only get to be in our bodies for a limited time, why not celebrate the journey instead of merely riding it out until it’s over?”
Hello all! I hope your first week of 2022 has been wonderful! As a music therapy intern, I have quite a busy schedule. For this week’s blog post I am going to take you into a week in my life as an intern at Music Therapy Connections!
On Monday’s I spend my mornings at St. John’s Children’s Hospital with my supervisor Katey. I then spend my afternoon at Music Therapy Connections. I have my business and technology meeting with Rachel Rambach. During these meetings, we go over different topics surrounding the business side of music therapy! Later, I lead two music therapy sessions with my supervisors, Emma and Molly. I end my Mondays with my voice lesson with Kristi, where I work on my pop singing voice.
On Tuesday’s I spend a majority of the day at the Hope School with my supervisor Emma. We lead sessions with 5 of the classes at the Hope School. In the afternoon, I go to Music Therapy Connections where I have some work and practice time while my supervisors have their supervision meeting together. Then I finish my day by leading an adapted piano lesson with my supervisor Molly.
On Wednesday’s, I typically go to SPARC with my supervisor Molly. We lead three sessions with the participants at SPARC. However, we are on a break from SPARC due to COVID-19 concerns, so we are creating videos to send to our participants there. I go back to Music Therapy Connections, where I lead two adapted lessons with my supervisor Molly. Additionally, I observe a voice lesson led by my supervisor Emma.
On Thursday I start my day at St. John’s Children’s Hospital with my supervisor Katey. After, I go to Music Therapy Connections where I have my supervision time with all three of my supervisors. This is a time for me to ask questions and discuss different things pertaining to my internship and sessions with all of them. Additionally during this time, I have my repertoire checks. During this I present two or more songs/interventions to my supervisors to receive their feedback and help on them. I then have some time to practice and work on assignments. I finish my day leading a session with my supervisor, Emma.
On Friday’s I again spend my mornings at St. John’s Children’s Hospital. After I get done at St. John’s, I go to Concordia Senior Care. There, my supervisor Molly and I lead a session with many of the residents there. Additionally, once a month we will lead an additional session with residents in another part of the facility. After we finish at Concordia, I go back to Music Therapy Connections. On Friday afternoons I have time set aside to work on assignments and for self care.
There is A LOT of driving time in my schedule. Often while I drive I will listen to music that makes me happy or podcasts. My current favorite podcast to listen to is the Music Therapy Chronicles. This driving time also gives me opportunities to reflect on my days and the sessions that I have lead!
Thank you for reading! Hope you have a wonderful week!
Happy New Year all! While everyone was celebrating the end of 2021, I was also celebrating the beginning of my 23rd year! A lot of change happens for me this time of year both my birthday and New Years. This often leads to much self reflection. This last week during my internship I reflected on the time times I felt confident in myself and the time I did not. I wanted to discover what makes me feel confident in myself.
Reflecting on the times I felt confident in myself I found that I felt:
I don’t over think
Decision making is quicker and easier
Small mistakes don’t affect me
Additionally, when I reflected on the times I did not feel confident in myself found I felt:
I over think
I make slower decisions
Small mistakes get to me
I find myself often getting frustrated with myself that I can’t always feel confident in myself. I thought that the difference between the two was not having fear. However, upon contemplation, I realized that the difference between the two wasn’t having no fear, but having trust in myself.
What is Self Trust to Me?
Self trust to me is looking at a situation, knowing what to do, and actions on it with out questioning myself. Additionally, it self trust is the ability to going into sessions feeling comfortable that I know what I am doing and that I know the music.
This year I want to focus on trusting myself. I will be finishing my internship, taking the CBMT exam, and starting my job search. Self trust is necessary for these important events I have coming up this year. I need to have trust in my abilities and knowledge. In turn, I’ll feel much more confident and comfortable in myself. I want spend my 23rd year and 2022 trusting and feeling like my most confident self.
I hope your 2022 is full of joy, success, and trust in yourself.
Hello all! I hope you all had a wonderful and relaxing Christmas! Now that Christmas is over, the attention is turned to New Years. 2021 has been another crazy year, but so many exciting things have happened too.
2021 GLR-AMTA Conference
The Great Lakes Region AMTA Conference was my first online conference! Attending conference from my college dorm room wasn’t quite the same as attending in person. However, I still got so much from attending! My research partner and I’s research project was chosen to be in the poster fair. This was incredibly exciting opportunity to get to share our research! Additionally, I was elected to be the Parliamentarian for the GLR AMTAS.
My Internship Search
I began my internship search in Fall 2020, but a majority of my search happened in the spring of 2021. I applied for four internship sites and I made to the interview stage for three of those. During a discussion with my professor about what I wanted out of internship, my professor put me in touch with Katey at MTC. On March 10th 2021 I was offered an internship with MTC!
Finishing My Coursework
One of the biggest thing to come out of this year was the completion of my music therapy course work at Western Illinois University. I was incredibly proud to have completed my coursework with a 3.9 GPA. In addition to completing my course work, I performed in my final WIU Opera Workshop performance and sang in my final University Singer’s concert. I finished up my term as the president of the WIU Music Therapy Association. I was so glad I had the opportunity to walk in the WIU Graduation Ceremony.
The second biggest thing to happen this year was starting my internship! Ever since I accepted my internship on March 20th, I eagerly awaited the start of my internship. It was incredibly nerve racking moving to a new place and to start internship. I am now halfway through my internship and have learned so many wonderful lessons. I have begun leading sessions and have begun to find my footing as a music therapy intern.
Overall, 2021 has been such a wonderful and exciting year! I am looking forward to many exciting events in 2022:
Taking the CBMT Exam
Starting my job search
Thank you for reading, I hope you all have a happy New Year!!